i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
