The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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