I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
