you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
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