Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
