Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Randomize
