fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
