Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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