I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
