The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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