I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My liver just had a heart attack.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
