So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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