I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize