Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
