Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
