Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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