dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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