do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
