There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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