I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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