There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
