She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
