There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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