there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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