Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
don't judge my taste in strippers
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
