You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
