That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
