A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
