Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize