I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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