OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
