Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
