Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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