What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Randomize
