You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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