if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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