areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
don't judge my taste in strippers
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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