Too much gin, very little bucket
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize