pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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