i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
