you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
