I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
