Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I am naked and annoyed.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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