Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize