Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
