well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
