I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
