so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
