It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
soo... how was my night?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
