why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
