Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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