I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
