I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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