When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
