your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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