You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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