Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
