If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
