Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
