yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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