Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I supernannyed him into submission
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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